There’s a strange trick that modern culture has played on us as women.
In the name of “empowerment,” we’re told to prove ourselves in masculine arenas; in competition, in the workforce, in the constant hustle, in the ring of performance and production.
We may not even call ourselves feminists, yet the culture has trained us to be in a feminist mindset as our default: so much in our masculine energy that we feel anxious when we are in our feminine – a nagging feeling that we must strive to keep up with, or even outdo men.
How sad is this?
The truth many of us don’t want to admit ourselves? Most women’s nervous systems simply weren’t designed and are not capable of thriving and being healthy in that constant, masculine fight mindset. Hunter mindset. WARRIOR mindset.This doesn’t feel natural to most women, on any level – emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically. It doesn’t feel good.
LARPING AS MEN DRAINS MOST WOMEN, AND DRAINED WOMEN ARE MISERABLE WOMEN!
Think back to childhood. Most boys wrestled every chance they got. Girls gravitated toward dolls, soft blankets, stuffed animals, imaginary families and relationships. Even when some of us joined in the roughhousing, it wasn’t usually our deepest joy – we loved nurturing, creating beauty, and being close to the people we loved. Some girls liked to fight boys, but it was from a competitive and masculine space that we did so. A need to feel “equal.”
How sad is this?
And yet, as adults, we’ve been told that true womanhood means competing like men, hustling and fighting like men, climbing ladders like men. We’ve been tricked into believing that to be pro-woman means to reject the very essence of our softness, our receptivity, our tender strength.
But living in that space long-term leaves many of us anxious, bitter, hardened, and weary. Because the truth is: we were made to be soft and gushy creatures. To bring warmth and love into the spaces we touch. To nurture our families, to care for our communities, to fill the world with beauty, gentleness, and soul. That is not weakness. That is power of a completely different kind — the kind the world desperately needs. beauty, gentleness, and soul. That is not weakness. That is power of a completely different kind – the kind this world SO desperately needs in this time.
When we step back into that energy, we often realize that the masculine arenas don’t actually feel comfortable or positive for us. They’re not “bad,” they’re just not ours.
And that’s okay.
The work is not about judging women who find themselves stuck in masculine performance mode- it’s about compassionately asking: Does this actually make me happy? Does this feel like who I am?
I’ve been there. I’ve felt the pull to “prove myself,” to try to live like a man and reject my soft and feminine nature because I thought it was weakness. But the more I soften, the more I allow myself to embrace my God-given femininity, the more alive and joyful I feel.
So what can we do to step back into feminine energy?
- Rest without guilt. Your worth isn’t measured by output. Let your nervous system exhale.
- Create beauty. Cook, decorate, garden, craft, sing — whatever awakens your soft creative joy.
- Nurture. Care for children, pets, friends, or even plants. Pour love into something that thrives under your touch.
- Receive. Let yourself be cared for, supported, and cherished by men instead of competing with them.
- Sisterhood. Connect with other women who want to live in gentleness and authenticity. Build each other up.
- Pray and re-align. Ask God to restore your feminine heart and give you peace in the role He designed for you.
We don’t need to prove ourselves by living like men. We don’t need to LARP as something we’re not. We need only to return to what we already are: beloved, radiant, tender, life-giving women.
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